April 18, 2009
In a speech during the fifth Summit of the America’s, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper said, “Protectionism is the biggest threat to the global economy.” This is only one instance of a greater trend threatening the global community.
Terminating a phone call which interrupted this interview, Harper admitted, “I suffer from Communicationism. I have an increased tendency to hear what people have to say and then respond. I’m not ashamed to say that it’s something I need to work on.”
If only the rest of the world’s leaders had such transparency. “Ism’s have been proven to affect 8 out of 10 people”, according to Arizona State University’s Anthropology Chairman Ted Masters.”Throughout history the occurrence of Ism’s rise and fall, but particularly in the past several decades an increase has been conclusive, undeniable, and in all other ways, factual. That’s just the way it is.”
Perhaps even more alarming than the sheer numbers of those affected by the epidemic, is the identification of Ism’s whose presence have been largely unnoticed for generations. “Bigger-Faster-And-Betterism,” says Ron Blohm of the Connecticut Research Institute,” emerged in the late 1700’s with the advent of the train. And this made way for travelism. We can’t even pinpoint the exact date an individual could no longer be satisfied by simply reading books and looking at drawings of exotic lands.” There is an international team conducting research to establish whether or not Sub-Conscious-Travelism led to the invention of the train, or vice-versa. “It’s very troubling, but we are confident that the methods of the natural or physical sciences are universally valid, and therefore should apply to the social sciences and the humanities as well.” said Blohm.
The implications are disturbing and questions abound. How many Ism’s are out there still undiscovered? How do I know if I’ve contracted an Ism? How can I help a loved one affected by an Ism? David Schlessinger, President of Family’s Against Ism’s, offers some helpful advice.
“The behavior of a person affected by Ism’s may include increased actions or practices of doing something, advocacy of a certain kinds of actions or practices, and the condition of being a certain way. Advanced stages of Ism’s include efforts to change the behavior of others,” said Schlessinger.”The best thing you can do for your loved one is to let them know that, even though you may not agree with what they are doing or saying, you still care about them. You may even try sharing you own ideas and explaining how you arrived at those conclusions. It is important for Ism sufferers to know that they are not alone, and we should help them with every resource available.”
